So asks Ben, 8-year-old comic genius and undisputed star turn of BBC's fabulous sitcom, Outnumbered. In the same episode Ben, brilliantly played by Daniel Roche (left, with Hugh Dennis) is also revealed to have replied to the standard wedding question of "Does anyone here know of any reason why these two people should not be married?" with the response: "She's a man!"
There have been some funny sitcoms around of late: Extras and Gavin and Stacey being the two that spring to mind. But none as funny as Outnumbered, which combines outrageously sharp observational comedy with the slapstick anarchy of smartarse kids out of control. Watching Ben is a little like watching a live action version of Eric Cartman. Only much,much funnier.
Outnumbered's twist is that the kids are off-script. While Hugh Dennis and Claire Skinner, terrific as Mum, are scripted, Ben and his siblings - six year old Karen and the older Jake - are left to imporvie in the hope that their performances will be more realistic. It works an absolute treat and all parents will recognise the horror of those moments when while you may not know exactly what your kid is going to say next, you know it is a moment pregnant with terror and humiliation.
If you haven't seen Outnumbered, get over to BBC and watch the first series and see the first episode of series two which is currently running on iPlayer. It is worth it just to see Karen reduce a bride to tears moments before her wedding with a series of innocent yet devastating questions about former boyfriends (one of whom is described as "a friend of the Queen. You know the one, a guest of Her Majesty").